frowl:

i am three years behind in my math homework

(via smoking-insomnia)

if you start kissing my neck there’s a 169% chance i’m going to rip your clothes off

(Source: sarcastics, via smoking-insomnia)

trillow:

hey mum my gang is coming over tonight can you prepare some fun snacks

(via vodkacupcakes)

fuckwooper:

money is so stupid and unnessecary we’re meat creatures on a rock floating in space and out entire lives are dominated by little bits of paper

(Source: an-egg, via fighting-bears-and-sharks)

I feel like I have an odd way of flirting, because it’s not very effective. Let me know if any steps are seeming off to you.

1. Say hello enthusiastically
2. Casually mention the fact that you have breasts
3. Ask them If they are interested in _____
4. Invite them for food somewhere
5. Demonstrate how you can fit a whole cookie in your mouth at once
6. Laugh so hard you snort/ spray liquid out of your nose
7. Start crying when they run away

anonynaila:

subvertcliche:

mello-dramatic:

Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.

Everyone. I mean it.

THIS IS THE BEST POST

I HAVE EVER SEEN

EVER

they really do mean everyone

(via fighting-bears-and-sharks)